SIAN .... staying at hm today . thought i could at least go to jp but end up i must stay at hm . thought i could have my lunch wit him coze he promise me yesterday but it end up to be eating alone again . nvm then , i shall nt eat .

Yesterday morning , went to gym wit jemiane. Ever since i ended my sec school life , i haven been excercising . Therefore my weight went up hee.. i wan to slim down as much as i can , best is i can slim down to 45kg heee... I will try my very best to reach tis target .
In the afternoon , i went out wit him . Actually we wanna go to the farm mart . but when asking for which bus to go there , there are some misunderstanding . so in the end we went to a wrong place . he was so angry because the weather is so hot and he is sweating all over . in the end we head back hm which i am nt very happy wit it .
from about 3 + we rot at hm till 6 , then he decided to go to IMM to have our dinner .we had pepper lunch for dinner hee... evrything was fine untill when we r going hm ... i asked him 1 question . " wat position i stand in yr heart ?" wat he reply has nth wrong ... he said ' 1st family , 2nd me and his bros ' nth was wrong wit tis but wat made me feel sad was tat , in my heart tis is nt the truth . the truth in his heart was i am in a third position . is nt tat i think too much is just tat i can c where do i stand . i though i could hear something i wanna hear but no i heard something tat i hate to hear . my heart really aches ... my mind is in a mess . he saw hw i feel in the draft tat is in my blog but no reaction was given . nth . nt even one . wat tis means ??? really wish to know ... am i just so nt important ? maybe yes ....i am someone who is dame hell sensitive anything changes can lead me to alot of conclusion . alot of hu si luan xiang ... haiz ... dunno hw to express myself except crying .

i really dunno where i have done wrong to get tis treatment really can anyone tell me ??? can anyone tell me wat should i do ... i really love him alot but i have been hurt so badly ... should i stay on and should i leave ??? even though i dun bare to leave ...

Labels: VEX